Artwork by Riane Pamon
Reflection by Yzabella Rae Narvadez
“Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam” means dedicating all things for the greater glory of God while “Magis” is choosing the more loving option. Unlike those two, “Cura Personalis” had always baffled me the most. It is simply explained as “Caring for yourself by giving equal importance to all aspects of your being so that you may be able to care for others too.” Does it mean I have to excel in everything I do? Or do I need to worry about everyone just like how I worry about myself? Questions like these lingered in my head every time I was told to uphold the said principle.
After three school years worth of orientations, masses, and reflections, I’ve finally understood that it isn’t about being the best or the most compassionate. For me, the underlying principle is growth — and it can only be manifested through acceptance.
I’ve only learned how to step out of my comfort zone in seventh grade, which means that for the first thirteen years of my life I did not try out a lot of things because of the fear of not being good enough. Since then, it has been a roller coaster ride. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don’t; sometimes I feel welcome, sometimes I don’t. And it’s okay, because I don’t have to force myself in spaces I don’t fit in. The ability to recognize when to leave and when to stay is what allows me to go after something better.
As an honor student, there is only one word in my vocabulary: hustle. Going to school when I barely slept from doing homework and munching on my food while reading the handouts placed beside my lunchbox are not unusual. Spending around four days in a tournament and being absent from school the following day from exhaustion is also not uncommon. Only now that I realize that maybe it is the world’s way of telling me that the amount of rest I get is just as important as the number of goals I want to achieve. Making myself believe that I don’t need a break sometimes even hinders me from performing well.
And as I approach my last year of stay in the Ateneo, I just want to look back to all the opportunities I missed, all the choices I did not choose, and all the people I no longer talk to. Those may not be the typical memories to cherish, but I’ll keep them along with the best and the ones yet to come. They remind me of what I had to let go to be able to move forward, and they’ll keep reminding me that I’ll eventually keep having to do so.
Cura personalis is allowing myself to grow and outgrow whatever boxes I am in. It is accepting that there are environments I don’t belong to, that there are matters I should value that I’m currently putting a blindeye on, and that there are realities I have to let go of no matter how important they are to me. “Set the world alight,” they say, but it can only be made possible when the only thing that holds me back is nothing.
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“Ignatius in Art” is a 9-day series of artworks and reflections from our students focusing on the themes provided by Educate Magis: Global Network of Jesuit Schools. This is a project of the AdNU JHS Campus Ministry Office and the ANSGO JHS in celebration of the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola.
Campus Ministry Office 